Graves.

I touched my warm heart as the tears flood down my cheeks.

I smiled softly as the wind blew through my hair.

The small rose i had placed on the ground in front of you sat quietly.

'I will always love you my darling...' I muttered to you and i placed my hand on your cold stone body.

'I wish you could be here with me too. I wish you could see me...'

I imagine you smiling back at me and telling me to smile, and to keep my chin up as you would do on any other day. 

Tears started to fall quickly. The memories flood through me...

'This cold stone body holds your corpse under ground. But, i hope your soul is in a better place' I tell you smiling softly.

I knelt on the soft dirt in front of you, i wiped my tears off my eyes. 

'I-I'll keep my chin up, even after you left me...'

I stood back up, i ran my hand over your stone body once again and left.

R.I.P. My love. You are six feet deep in my love.

I DON'T NEED---

"I DON'T NEED YOUR PITY!" I yelled at him, tears rolled down my face, "NOTHING IS ALRIGHT OKAY!? NOTHING EVER WILL BE! And i'm okay with that" I said wiping away my tears.

He gave me a look of sadness, i was ready to punch him now. I just want him to shut the heck up.

I curled my hand into a fist, my nails pressed into my skin, as if they were biting into my skin.

He gave me a faint smile and said "It's okay, i mean, look how I turned out".

I just snapped, my fist hurled up and towards his face..but, i stopped an inch away from his face.

I couldn't do it, i couldn't damage his beautiful face...I pulled my hand back and cried, weeped, sobbed, what ever you want to call it. I shed some tears now and then, it's natural.

I grabbed his shoulders and shook him "how can you be so great...? How can you make every all right and i can't?" i asked shaking his back and forth. "i can't do this anymore..." I muttered.

Flatter and disturbed.

Alright, so, exciting news!

I HAVE TWO MORE CREEPERS! :D

*yay*

Wait-what?

Yeah, it's true, two new guys like me D:

And it sucks. Well kinda.

It sucks that they aren't hot and they are kind of...'losers' as my best friend calls them

Loser is kind of..harsh.

They aren't my type, let's say that! :D

But, one is a total perv, and looks at porn and talks crap to me like 'Hey chicky, i wanna get in your pants' sort of things to me, and the other is a shy fat kid i was nice to D:

I'm flatter that they like me!

But, disturbed because one was taking pictures of me as i walked away.

I'll give you a run down of what happened yesterday, ROLEPLAY STYLE :D

(The Pervy Creeper is W-kun, and the shy fat kid is N-kun)

Me: Hey Max (my brother), Hey W-Kun and N-kun (Max's friends)
Max, W-Kun, and N-kun: Hey Mimi.
W-kun: HEY MIMI, N-KUN IS ATTRACTED TO YOU
N-kun: SHUT THE HELL UP!
W-kun: I LIKE YOU TOO, MIMI
Me: O.O;; UHHHH thanks?
Max: You two, back off >:c
Me: *sneaks away*
W-kun: *pulls out phone and starts to take pics of me as i walk away*

And that's how it went down.

It's ROHAD/T-Pig/Too Much boy all over again =.=;
(Too Much Blog: http://happyemobunnies.blogspot.com/2011/01/too-much.html)

Ganged up?

Ever felt ganged up on?

Like your one best friend, and one of your other friends are totally out to get you?

Though, it may not be the case.

But, i can't help but feel hurt and a little pissed off at these two friends of mine.

I guess i'll just leave them alone and stop talking to them for awhile.

This usaully only happens when it's the three of us. Misery, Pride, and me.

Alone, they are perfectly nice! But, together, i can't help but feel annoyed.

Misery is usaully sad, and so i try to help, but, now a days, Pride gets in my way.

Pride doesn't listen to me and Misery goes along with what ever Pride tells her. 

Which leaves me alone and cornered...

Touches to the point of tears.

i read something that made so happy i could have cried.

I wanted to cry.

Something so sweet and pure, it warmed me so.

My best friend gave me a card for Easter and a black sheep.

In the card was a picture of us holding hands and smiling.

it was a truly touching picture alone. But, what was inside made the tears fall.

"Dear Mimi

What would i ever do without you?

Oh, happy easter BTW. i <3 you

     ~Amelia"

She always says that in her cards, but, this time it hit me hard. 

I wanted to hug her and cry into her shoulder. 

She's moving to missouri in the beginning of july, i'll miss her with all of my heart. 

The day she told me, i cried. 

I selfishly and rudely pitied myself think about how awful it would be to lose her and how my birthday (July 30th) is a curse. 'People keep leaving around my birthday time.' that's what i thought.

Then i realized how Amelia must feel. I'm losing ONE person. She's losing everything. EVERYTHING.

Her house, her friends, her crush, everything she has held onto so tightly is now slipping away from her...

I'm pretty sure i could never do that. EVER.

She says she'll come and visit me, i hope that is true.

She is so kind, i usaully do all the gift giving and non of the receiving

But, not with Amelia, she gives back. And that always makes me oh so happy to see she cares.

She knows everything about me. She's smart and wise. She knows how to make me laugh. She knows what and who i like, she knows my obsession with cute cakes and hello kitty.

My only wish is that she'd let me in more often. I want to help her, i truly do. 

She is probably the best person i've ever met or will meet.Akicon will NEVER be the same. 

I will keep you forever is my heart Amelia.

Yeah, that's Amelia ^^;;

 

(PS: Yes, we have the same name, but, for the sake of this post, i'll refer to myself by my nick name 'Mimi')

I love you

I know you will never hear this, and it's better if i never tell you but...

I love you.

Oh, how i love you so. You will never know, even if you did, you would probably never understand why.

You are kind.

You are humble.

You are accepting.

You may not be my best friend.

You may not even count me as a friend.

But, i love you.

And i always will, no matter what you do, i love you.

Personally, i'd love to feel your warm embrace. 
I'd love to feel your soft lips on my cheek.
I'd love to hold your hand and be able to smile up at you, knowing we would always be.
But, my head knows that this shall never be.
But, my heart doesn't want to believe.
Happy Easter my love. 

I wear these skulls to remember you.

The ghost girl.

Ghost girl, she hides in mirrors.

She lost her soul to that evil man.

I used to see her, now i don't.

She used to be here, now she is not.

Why did she open the door?

Why did she let him in?

She let him take her heart right away.

It was here.

Now it's gone.

He charmed her with his beautiful face and lies.

Now, i wish to find her.

To find her again...

She hides in my mirror, though she never shows.

She has hid her face away.

But, why?

He is gone.

She is gone.

There is no need.

I wish i knew...

Guilty Pleasures:

Everyone has something they like but, they probably shouldn't.

With me, it's BOTDF (Blood On The Dance Floor)

They swear a ton, drop the f bomb about 15 times PER SONG, and sing about sex very song.

But, i just looooovvvveee~ his techno scream! <33

Also, Medic Droid, Mindless Self Indulgence, Bullet For My Valentine, and so on.

Mostly, it's just all my music!

I used to watch this one anime that had a TON of sex in it.

But, i loved the main character!

Pretty sad, i guess we're all just attracted to sin. 

Kind of depressing huh?

So, yeah!

What are some of your guilty pleasures?

Comment below ^^
((Also, this is another guilty pleasure, EMO/SCENE men))

Pale

This is one of a weirder posts ^^;

It's about how pale i am D: 

I'm 3/4 danish so, it's in the genes.

But, i was looking at the foundation, and comparing it to my skin to find the right tone.

What i found shocked me.

My foundation color is...IVORY.

Like, PURE SNOW WHITE! D:

It made me a little sad, and a little happy too.

For one thing, people tell me that my hair is amazingly thick and that's a good thing.

Personally, i hate it D:

People say they'd rather be pale than tan, but, i'd love to be tan Dx

But, i guess that just me.

If i had straight hair, i'd want curly hair.

If i had curly hair, i'd want straight hair.

OH! and i got my hair cut :D Look at my avatar :3

My life is all one big contradictory.

Every move i've made was a mistake.

Everyone i've helped, cried more than before.

It burns me to the point of breaking.

Choking on sorrow

I love you so much.

I want to be close to you, but, you are always so far away.

I'll choke on these words.

I will shove them down my throat.

This love taste sweet, but, it burns inside me.

You see me as me, and i see you as you.

But, how come your always moving farther and farther away from me?

I miss you dearly.

To see your face again would make my world...

Every step i make, you make one back.

Will i ever reach you?

Will you ever hear my cry?

Will this small reach you?

Every time i have a bad day, your there, and you tell me to keep my chin up.

I'm sorry about what happened to you at the age of 14.

I wish i could help you, maybe even just a little bit...

But, i know i can't.

I will shove the sweet sorrow down and swallow.

It will burn inside me, but, if this will stop you from leaving, then it's worth it.

I...like you still.

I need to get over that, past that, walk away from that.

I'm choking on this sorrow. 

Scary.

I've been called 'scary' again.

...This feels amazing... (Heavy sarcasm)

Just because my eye liner is thick.

Just because i like wearing tutus.

Just because my hair is blue-ish.

Because of all that, they judge.

I have a few friends that support me.

But, also quite a few who don't.

I probably shouldn't even call them friends.

I guess this is what i get for trying to be nice to people

They tell me to stop it, and to go back.

But, i don't want to go back.

Why try and change me?

I like the way i look these days.

But, No. 

They yell at me, telling me i'm a freak.

I'm a freak because i'm nice to the out casts?

I'm a freak because i draw sad people?

Really?

Everyone has there 'off' days, and mine happen more often.

Thanks for reading

~Amelia.

Finding you ((Your Return)) Part three.

I decided  to sit down and think about things.

I slumped down, leaning up against a tree trunk.

I sighed, and thought about how i got here.

All i could remember was that i fell asleep, and woke up here.

'Now there are two options.

One: THIS IS ALL A FREAKING DREAM.

Two: I was kidnapped and brought here... for no reason at all...?' i thought to myself.

I looked up and the tree i had been leaning on.

It was one of those really nice climbing trees, with a lot of branches and such.

I decided it would be best to find out where i was, that way maybe i can become a little less lost.

Once i got to the top, the answer became clear.

...I must have been kidnapped...

Past this vast sea of trees, was a another land. 

It was all metal and gears.

There stood a tall chapel, beautifully crafted. 

I could almost make out a train, but, it was too far away.

I decided that's where i wanted to go.

((Sorry, this isn't usaully how i write... i'll write something more emo tomorrow!))

Desire.

Here's another story about another girl being a jerk to me.

I'm not going to name names so, We'll call her...'Ray' and my best friend...'Ally' kay? Alright so here we go.

Now, Ray has always pissed me off, and she knows that now. She has always told me that i'm wierd and i should be more like her.

She has a lust for perfection, and i could careless. She wants everyone to like her, and to be like her.

Anyways, i need to get to the actual story...

Me and Ally were walking along, it was lunch break, so we had time to just hang out.

Ally and Ray are friends.

Ray comes up and starts talking to Ally, and completely ignoring me, which was probably for the best.

She starts talking about braces, and how her's are coming off soon. 

I told her that my brother had his on for the longest time.

She asks me if i'm going to get them, and i tell her no. I have the tiniest over bite, but, nothing bad enough to effect me.

She tells me i should, and i'll look better then.

I told her i didn't want braces, and i don't need them.

She keeps telling me i should get them, then she pulls out 'It's FUN'

Yeah, we all know that have metal on your teeth, pulling and pushing them around is 'fun'. 

No, it isn't. 

Then, she takes Ally, and drags her away. Ally asks me to come with her. I shook my head.

I cannot stand that Ray girl.

She pissed me off to know end. 

So i let Ally go with Ray.

Now that i think about it, i should have said this to Ray 'You know what? I'm not like you! I have no lust for perfection nor do i want to be perfect. I am who i am, i dress that way i like, i don't want to be like you, and i don't even want to talk to you, so back off and leave me alone!'

She has come up to me, and bullied me around.

I was in her little 'clique' but, not anymore.

I don't even want to get close to her.
And that's the end of my rant time :D Hope you enjoyed ^^ Questions? Comment below :D

The poison apple.

A simple apple.

A dark red apple.

It sits on this plate.

On this plate it sits. 

I reach out for it.

For it, i reach out.

My hand touches it's smooth surface.

The smooth surface, my hand touches.

I bring it to my mouth.

i open my mouth slowly.

My teeth bite slowly into it's smoothness.

A beautiful soft taste fills my mouth. 

It taste almost like cream, but, with a bitter after taste.

With my second bite, i drop it.

My mouth tasted like blood, the apple had become bitter.

I looked at the apple that lay at my feet.

It had become rotten within a few seconds.

I dropped to my knees.

To my knees i dropped.

I cannot breathe.

Breathe, i cannot.

What is wrong with me?

With me, what is wrong?

This beautiful apple was poisoned.

Poisoned, this  beautiful apple was.

I died that night.

That night, i died.

One scary moment in california.

So, you remember when i came back from California right?

Well, i have a story to tell.

I was in the air port, and i had just came through the full-body scanners, and went to go pick up my shoes and back pack from the package scanners. 

I went over and sat down in front of this old lady, and start to put my shoes back on.

She smiled at me, and i smiled back naturally, and waved politely.

She stared at me as i put my shoes on, i was a little disturbed. 

I sat up and put my coat back on, she said i looked very cute, i said 'thank you' as i usaully do.

She laughed nervously. Which now, i suspected something was up, since now she was nervously laughing AND staring at me creepily. 

I had my cute pink robot necklace in my lap, which i had totally forgotten about. I stood up and it fell from my lap.

Now here is where i KNEW something was up. 

She said 'You dropped your necklace thing, robot-cute-thing. Whatever it is it's really cute, HA HA HA'

I may just be reading this the wrong way, but, i have dealt with creepers.

And her constant nervous laughter gave it away. 

You remember 'Too Much' boy right? he always stared at me creepily, and laughed at anything i said, whether it was funny or not.

I think i dealt with a female pedophile. Or not. Hey, i am usaully wrong. *shrugs*

I hope this was interesting. 

Oh, and then she followed me to the bathroom O.o

Anyways, see ya :D

WISHES, HECK YAH XD

Hey guys...

I'm just here to ask one thing.

If you had three wishes, what would you wish for?

Now, this is one of those commonly asked questions.

Along with 'what do you want to be when you grow up?' and 'If you were going to die, what would you do in your last days?'

My first wish, would be for extreme good luck, that way i could be like 'I wish i had twenty bucks' then i'd look under a rock and there it'd be :D 

Second wish, beauty :3

Yes, i know, it's whats on the inside that counts but, we all judge by appearances. Even if we don't want to, we still do. It's a sad fact of life, and me, being sorta insecure about my body, that wish would be nice.

Third wish, i'd save this one. In case something happens and i need it :D

Like, if the dam exploded and it flooded everywhere, i could wish for something to save us :D

And what about you?

What would you wish for?

Leave your comments below.

Sorry.

Sorry i haven't made any posts lately, i have no inspiration lately Dx

I tried working on my book, i didn't even finish a page.

This isn't like me, it's like i can't do anything! ANYTHING AT ALL.

I tried writing a good, long post. Stopped in the middle.

Couldn't think worth crap. Usually i just start writing and something comes out of it.

Guess not. Maybe i just need more sleep.

And the sucky part is that, i WANT to write, i want to draw, i want to make stuff like i usually do. But, i can't Dx

Do you guys have any ideas for me? Maybe if you guys suggest me things, i can get back my drive :DD

So, leave comments, song links, crap like that.

Amelia LoveLess SIGNING OUT!

I have a twitter :D 

For, some odd reason... o.o;; Don't ask XD

RANDOM LIKE YEAH.

Ah, spring breaks.

They start off fun, just like love.

But, after a while, we get tired. Just like love. 

And, we want a change, to keep us interested.

Just like love.

The question is, why do we want this to change?

Why can't they stay the same?

Why are we so selfish and try to make things dance and entertain us?

Even though we know they will not work out.

Think about it.

Comment randomly, say 'Tacos' or some crap like that XD

Say anything you want. I really just wanna see what you guys say :DD

Frustration.

Frustration. 

Everybody gets frustrated, but, it's the way we deal with frustration that counts

My brother throws things, almost breaks into swearing, and hits himself.

I, myself, i get up and walk away. I sit alone and draw. I listen to the radio and try to smile.

My mother, well, she yells and walks away.

My OTHER brother, i honestly have no clue what he does.

How do you deal with the curse of frustration?

And what frustrates you the most?

Leave a comment.

Listen to this playlist: Loroflmao's Playlist

Your love will be the death of me... (Don't kill me)

This small heart is calling out to you, my feelings and emotions are bleeding out of my body.

You watch me bleed...

I wish my voice could reach your ears and change everything.

I wish my heart could be with yours.

I wish...

I dream...

But, never the less, nothing will ever change.

Nothing.

Will this pain ever end?

You took your finger and scratched into my heart, your mark.

It scared me to see all of this in front of my eyes.

I want to help, but...

'But' is the only word that makes sense.

And 'never' is the only comfort i find in these words.

But, NEVER again.

'Again' hurts more than anything.

Find me in your heart...

I JUST FREAKING FOUND OUT THAT ANDY SIX WAS PLAYING IN SEATTLE (my home town) TWO DAYS AGO D:
Now i'm seriously depressed... Dx

This is the kinda of bands i listen to xD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJg2aNsG_rs

Pissy.

I make Mistakes.

You make Mistakes.

He makes Mistakes.

So don't get pissy with me.