My curse.

I have curse.

I don't know where it came from, or when i got it.

I don't know why or how i should use it.

But, i know it is here. I know i need it for something...

My curse is my ability not to cry.

Something in my life stopped.

I cried so much, then, in one moment of my life...

I completely stopped.

Maybe my ability to act 'okay' is another curse.

Telling myself 'No. No, i won't cry...' as my finger nails pierce into palm, making a bloody fist.

i throw my arm out and smash it into the wall.

'Why...w-why can't i...' i ask my self so frustratedly. 

I want to at least cry a little, but, i can't.

I NEED to...

At first i thought it was alright.

I felt like i was 'okay'.

But, i was just lying to myself.

Why...?

Why does my curse have to be so painful?

Not crying...

Why is it so bad?

I feel like a bottle full of fizzy emotions.

And the world is shaking me up.

Why can't i blow...

Why can't i let the world see me for...Me?

Why are emotions so... hard to let go of?

Why is life so hard to get used to?
Now, instead of crying tears. 
I cry blood.
My blood spills onto the flood.
It hurts...but, now everything will be better.
...Right?