Jealous rant (Warning, may contain swearing...)

I have found myself getting...jealous.
JEALOUS OF THE MAN I SHOULD HATE (But don't for some STUPID reason)
AND I DON'T KNOW WHY D:<

I mean seriously, i should just get a grip and never think about him again. BUT I JUST CAN'T DO THAT CAN I?! >:C Noooo, because i'm stupid idiot, i can't just seem to stop thinking about him >.> Am i becoming like a jealous girlfriend now? AM I WHAT I HATE THE MOST!? GAAAAHHHH >.> Geez! We never went out, but, he acted like an evil ex... And now i'm all pissed off and don't know what to do D:< Maybe i am just bored and lonely as always and just want attention FROM ANYONE, and that's why, BUT HOW THE H*LL DO I STOP FEELING LIKE THIS!? D:< I really just need to work on something to get my mind off of this. But, All i want to do is talk to him... again... BUT NO. Because like i said before, i SHOULD hate him, but, i don't, I'M FRIGGIN TORN. GAWD Dx< Grrr.... *grinds teeth*