The other day it just kinda of struck me that no one has a perfect life.
Ever. I had always known this, be I never realized how true it is.
I had this friend, she was rich, had a beautiful big home, and got everything she wanted. But, her father left her as a child, and her mom had died. She now just lived with her grandparents.
My other friend, she is beautiful, has the perfect eyes, the perfect body, perfect everything. But she hates herself, and wishes she was different.
Another girl I know, she is beautiful and kind but is terribly ill and can't make it outside because she was so weak.


The other day I was hanging out with my friend after lunch, and he said 'My acne is terrible.'
To me, it really isn't as bad as he thinks it is. I think everyone has something they hate about themselves that they think is worse than it actually is.
I think the only way we can be truly happy with our lives is to accept things as they are.
I'm chubby, and that's okay.
I am extremely tall, and that's okay.
I'm overly sensitive, and that's okay.
I think if we can get over the things that we think are 'wrong' with us, we can become happier.
Because hating something isn't going to change it. On days when I feel insecure, I write a list of things that are 'right' with me.
I think to have people accept you, you have to accept yourself. If we just accept and love our flaws we can become more confident.
And I think that if we can accept out flaws than others can see that, and see how happy we have become. And maybe they can be happy too.

I wish I could be mean...

Sometimes, I wish I could be mean.
There is this girl in my school who is always alone, but she isn't all that different.
She likes anime and manga. Vocaloids, japan, and is in almost all my classes.
But, she's mean.
First time I met her we were on a field trip, and we went to Daiso. I picked up a manga coloring book and showed it to her because I knew she liked to drawing and manga. And I said 'Isn't this cute? I love these books, I think they are adorable!'
And she replied with 'God Amelia. You're so immature,'
I just stood in silence.
So you may think 'Hey maybe she WANTS to be alone'
She doesn't. She really doesn't. She'll tell you too.
I would still try to be nice to her once in a while, and when I was she'd always just complain about how she has no friends.
She really really wants friends, but when ever I try to be nice, or really ANYONE tries to be nice to her she shoots them down. Just the other day we were having a test and she was crying because she though she didn't do well and I said 'Hey deary, it's gonna be okay. I'm sure you will do great!' and smiled to cheer her up. All she did was glared at me and yell 'NO IT'S NOT.'


She wants kindness, but when she gets it she refuses. I wish I could stop being so nice, and I want to be able to just ignore her. But... I can't. I try, but I just can't.

http://smilyfishproductions.blogspot.com/

Birthday Blues...

My birthday party was this weekend. Only three people were able to make it.
When I handed out invites to 15 people, everyone seemed excited, but, three weeks later, no one had rsvp'd...
The one person I was really counting on just canceled. Everyone has forgotten all my party and me...

I know it probably wasn't personal. But, I'm still disappointed about it...

Falling Down.

She falls.

She falls into deception and lies.

She falls into a world which has never been experienced by her.

She falls and keeps falling.

She doesn’t know what she wants anymore.

She doesn’t know where she is going anymore.

She doesn’t know how long with will last.

She falls and never stops falling.

She keeps falling.

She doesn’t know the people around her anymore

She doesn’t understand there logic anymore

She falls and never stops falling.

This one is for Ashley

Pavement slipping

Trees falling

Birds dieing

People screaming

The world sinking

Destruction coming

Life ending

World slowing

Time stopping

A blue box coming

A doctor saving

A doctor healing

A doctor helping

A doctor showing

And a Doctor fighting

Screams stop

The world turns

Destruction is past

Trees standing

Pavement holding

And time turning. 

Test your name meaning!

http://en.shindanmaker.com/215156

;_;
Amelia's name means: 1) Lolicon. 2) Useless baggage.
 Geez. I feel loved D:>
And even my nick name!
Mimi's name means: 1) To show off your ●●● 2) A dangerous person...
Like, what?
Test your name, and post your answer in the comment section! xD It's actually pretty funny :D

Amelia, Please, Come home.

Amelia.
Please.
Come home, and stay home.

Spider bites.

In this world there is no place for people like you. I'll exterminate you with my spider bite.
In this world there is no place for weaklings like you. I'll exterminate you with my spider bite.

Conversation is useless between enemies.

 This whole post relates to a conversation between me and a 'friend'.
Basically me ranting, and saying what I wish I could say to his face...



I'm disappointed in you.
Disappointed and angry.
I was annoyed by you kissing your friend, and saying it meant nothing, but, I could handle it.
To accept and move on is what I used say.
I can deal with light swearing, but, not when it's used at me.
HE said the same thing to me.
Tell me, what is the difference?
Because we were friends?
Because we ARE friends?
No.
Whether a bully said it to me, or a friend, it hurts all the same.
I wasn't even being mean.
I was trying to say I thought it was sweet that you would help your mom in the garden.
And then you go cursing me off?
And what's wrong with that?
What's wrong with having a sensitive side?
Oh wait.
My mistake.
It appears you don't.
I don't even care if you were maybe even having a bad day, that was uncalled for.
Do you even treasure me as a friend?
As a person?
As a human being with real emotions and feelings?
I don't need people like you to be my friends.
And you obviously don't need me.
You've changed.
And I don't like it.
What ever happened, WHO ever happened, they deserve to die.
What happened to my swing dancin' partner?
What happened to you, the you, who on the day I was called a freak, ate all my muffins when no one else would, and made me feel alright when it felt like nothing was going right?
 What happened to him?
And where did he go?
I miss him, and I want him back.

I love psychology.

Take note. SWEATPANTS ARE NOT CUTE NOR ARE THEY FLATTERING ON ANY ONE!

O.O Uguu!

Alienation

Take no pity.

Take no shame.

Take no hope.

Walk away from him.

Say goodbye.

Set the barriers.

Arm the guns.

Hold on to your heart.

Don’t let him take it.

Don’t let his looks make you feel guilty.

He is dangerous.

He is hurtful.

Not to you.

But, to himself.

So, hide.

You’ve seen it before.

Let this be the end.

Let your yes be yes.

And your no be no.

He has only done this to himself.

It is not your fault.

So keep walking.

Don’t look back.

You are not wrong.

There will be others for him.

But, you are not to sacrifice yourself.

Show no pity.

The world will keep turning for him.

He will learn his place.

Because you know yours.

The Loneliness

Desperate, lost, the wondering people full of mental illnesses.

People cower in fear of the hearts of the lost.

The stench of despair wafted through crowds of people.

Offices full of clichés.

Homes full of lies.

Schools full of outcasts.

They only know themselves.

They fear anything unknown to them.

Questions they fear to ask riddle other’s minds.

Their mouths sewed shut with the strings of mistakes.

Top of buildings are full of people looking down on the world.

Only to be crushed by their own hand full of lecherous intentions.

Cries of the lost will only be answered by one.

The one we choose to ignore.

I have no name.

But, when I come, you will know me.

And the loneliness will cease to exist.

LMAO. Kids these days xD

I'm sorry

Listen.
I don't want to be your friend.
So quit trying to be mine.
You cannot make amends for what you did.
What you did was wrong.
And you just can't accept that.
I'm not holding a grudge.
You're just dangerous.
Not just to me, but, to yourself.
And if you cannot respect my boundaries, I will take this matter to a higher authority.
So please.
Back off.

Sparkle sparkle!

Japanese fashions ftw!

You know what this calls for? :D

A Summer of One Thousand Poems

To my love, everyday I think.

To my love, everyday I remember.

To my love, everyday I love.

To my love, everyday we yearn.

To my love, everyday I read.

To my love, everyday I cry.

To my love, everyday I write.

To my love, everyday I wait.

To my love, everyday I’ve ever waited, nothing has come back.

To my love, everyday I cling onto a memory.

To my love, today I was hurt.

To my love, today I lost my memories.

To my love, all I remember is my love for.

To my love, do you remember my name?

To my love, because I can’t.

To my love, I was let out today.

To my love…I was hurt today.

To my love, I remember.

To my love, you don’t exist anymore.

To my love, goodbye.

Revolting is the hopeful, selfless monster with no heart.
Am I hypocrite?
I want to help others.
I'd defend anyone.
I'll stand up for the whole world if I had to.
But, even in all this, I have hurt people close me...
How can a monster who can't even accept herself, help others and show them how to accept each other for how they come?

Monsters of the ground's silent moods.

The men in your dreams, who chase you with bloody knifes in hand may not be real.
The people you long to meet, and celebrities you wish to date, may not be who you think.
The ground you walk on, may not be as solid secure as you may think.
The friends you have who are moody behind your back may not be as nice.
But one thing we know.
The one thing we all know.
Is that you, are true.
You are real.
You are who you say you are.
And that all that matters to me.

~AL

ouo;

Girl rule #1

                         Girl rule #1:
     Never EVER flirt with the guy that you friend likes.
That's the first thing you learn when in highschool. >.>
But, apparently some people skipped class that day.

     So, my friend, who i love to hang out with and we talk a lot about cute things and boys, knows that i am totally in love with this amazing guy in my class. So, the other day, he broke up with his girlfriend. He was sad, and i felt bad for him, but, i also knew that this was my chance to swoop down like a hawk and steal his heart! <3 ~(^u^~) I told her that too, thinking that she would be happy for me, i always kept her updated because we have like squee fests over boys now and again. Anywhore, the teacher called us all other to the corner, we had all been working in our own little tables on our art projects, so we all went over the gather by the teacher. My friend proceeded to hug, poke, talk, and even touched the butt of the guy i liked. >n>;; Needless to say, he didn't enjoy this. She kept flirting with him until the teachers sent us back to our corners. Later that day, i started to cry, for one thing, she hangs out with a gang of groupies that always tease me, and have thrown things at me like pencils and pens, and she friggin' laughs when they make fun of me, and then goes and flirts with the guy i like. Wtf!?
/Rant end.
~AL </3

What should i do?

Seriously?

Rant time :3
So, there's this kid. He used to be my friend, and then he hurt me, and violated my being.
So I told him that i never want to see him again. He sent me a death threat. And so after a long time of hiding, and being scared of him and him being suspended and all, he finally comes back to school.
And now he's in one of my classes this year.
Great. Just great.
So, i nearly have a heart attack when i see him, but after the course of a few months, i realize that he is no threat to me. But, they he started crushing on my good friend. She thinks he's creepy, but, she doesn't know what happened between him and me. So i decide to protect her from him, because i know how dangerous he is. and here is where the ranting begins. I come to school, and we (Me and my friend) manage to get stuck in a group with him and his pompous rude friend for art class. He tells me, that he hates me, and wants me to die.
Are you serious!?
After everything i have done for you?!
I have lent a hand, i have helped you with school, i have been so nice to you, i listened to you when you pissed moaned about how everyone hates you, and you freaking tell me to die!?
That hurt a lot. I have done so much for that boy, and says that to me? It really hurts.
But now that i think about it, it may just be because my friend really likes me, hugs me, is always hanging off my arm, and snuggles with me, but doesn't like him, he is probably jealous!
Jealousy is a powerful thing, wouldn't you say?

I love this song =u=

I fell in love with this version of PonPonPon by Kyary Pamyu Pamyu.

Uhh... Hello?

Hey. So I haven't posted since at least summer :/
And I'm sorry >.>;;
But I guess I will have to try to post more often. I haven't made an poetry or journaled in a long, long time.
So, here I go. I'll give this a shot :/




Tick-tick-tick-tick-tick.
Moments slowly passing by
Tick-tick-tick-tick-tick.
Staring at the clock, wishing time would move faster.
Tick-tick-tick-tick-tick.
Finally, tock.
RING RING RING RING.
I get up from this lonely seat.
RING RING RING RING.
To move on.
RING RING RING.
To make my way into the murmuring hallways.
whispers-whispers-whispers
Prideful people push and shove.
whisper-whisper-whisper
Telling lies and starting drama is what they enjoy.
Step-Step-Step.
My shoes make no sound as a walk to the lunch room.
Step-Step-Step.
I grab my bag and keep walking.
Step-Step-Step.
Until I make it to my table outside.
Silence.
It is quiet and nice.
Silence.
Even if it's cold out side, and the wind blew in my hair, sending chilld up my spine.
At least I was alone, and everything was silent.


Crap right? xD Not my usually whiny, bitchy stuff. Sorry to disappoint.