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Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Dear Mother and Father.

Oh, how you yell.
all i want was to tell you how i feel but, the never works, huh?
When all i want is for you to say 'i understand' and 'it gonna be alright'.
But, no, that's not how it works, huh?
i wish you could understand a little, understand the questions i ask you.
You don't get it.
You changed this into something different.Something else.
i wanted to release my feelings but, it always ends up getting me into the mess.
Do you understand? Do you see?
I wanted to say what was wrong but, i end up being yelled at.
This is why i never tell you anything, i ask you 'so i can say exactly how i feel?' you start yelling again.
Saying how 'i never do anyways so it doesn't matter,' and 'you just keep lying'
Yes.I lied. Because everything will be better. You don't play fair.
You come up the stairs and knock on my door, and then start crying.
Saying 'i'm so sorry' and 'i'm so bad at my job'.
Now you are making me cry. Thanks a lot, 'Mommy' and 'Daddy'
You blame me and my 'teenager-ness'
I want something, what it is, i do not know.
But, i want it so badly. And i will find it one day.
But, if i let go of this rock of a heart, i will fall into a sea of emotions and tears.

I will never tell you how i feel. I won't let my emotions take over.


Isabelle said...

Are you sure about that????

Mimi-Chii said...

Sure about what?